The End of Doubt

It has been a long time since I put a post on here. Maybe it is because I felt that I did not or could not give a voice to what I have been experiencing in my interior and exterior life. Without getting too personal, I have spent time facing my darkest fears. And I have shined light on many dark and hidden places. But the good news, is that I have emerged a more peaceful, aware, and accepting person. Isn’t that what we are all called to, after all?

We all, if we were honest, get attached to self-definitions, to self-concepts and ideas we have constructed in our dualistic minds, about who we think we are. In a world, where like never before in this universe’s history, where we are all concerned about the possibility of “identity theft”, many of us, if we would really admit it, are confused at the deepest level of our unconscious minds, unsure of who we are and what we are supposed to be doing – knowing our calling, rather.

We all look for answers in times of uncertainty and doubt. I think back to more than twenty years ago and remember believing “I had it all figured out”, knowing exactly where I was headed. Well, with total certainty, I can say that that 22-year-old had no clue about living in this world and what it meant to be “living his purpose”.

In twenty years of evolving, soul-searching, changing, struggling, and going back a ways, facing despair and a spiritual emergency at one point, the whole journey has been about “finding” myself. Who am I?

A child of the Divine. Safe at home. In the embrace of the Almighty Lover, the only Source (and that can be seen as taking on so many different images – though we can never create an image of the very thing that is beyond comprehension). All the fear, the insecurity, the escape from responsibility, and pushing people who mattered out of my inner circle, so to speak – it was all done in an effort to be, what I already was (and had)! I feel like I have arrived. Been through what I call the “rebirthing matrix”.

No title, nor degree, or certification, or credentials could name me. I, like you am a beloved of the Divine. Today, I can say with confidence and assurance, that I accept that. And it feels so serene and calm. I survived life’s storms (though there are sure to be more). I have found my rock, on which I have built the temple of my soul, so I can share more fully, love more compassionately, and dream a collective, new, more beautiful world into being – just by doing my part. By being self-aware. Forget all the mystical experiences and abilities I have acquired. Those were only important in getting me to this moment. The NOW!

Now I have a responsibility. To continue to walk the path, not just through what many people mistakenly call, “faith” (when they really mean belief), but rather as a great biblical scholar and guardian of the Pre-Christian Teachings of Yeshua (Jesus) has pointed out in his written and oral ministry, I need to be “faithful” and to “persevere”. I would add, I need to be true to the calling I have heard in my heart. To become a mystic activist, getting involved in helping to bring liberation and peace to this world. Some believe there is only one ‘messiah’. Some are still waiting for that person to come. I am boldly going to echo what many of my mentors have told me – you, me, and all of us, are the chosen of God, called to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and to forgive always, seeing the dignity and worth of every incarnate soul. So, I am challenging you – to put an end to your doubts about who you think or thought you are or were…. WE ALL NEED TO STAND UP TO RECEIVE THE DISPENSATION, to be ANOINTED, as Light-Bearers, whether you want to call it the Christ, the Krishna, the Buddha, the True Self, the Atman. . . there is no right word to describe what we all must have the courage to become. Know, you are called, as am I, to help liberate and though I hate using this word – to ‘save’, NO, to “LOVE” (not convert to any belief system either) this world and all of creation, by awakening to the truth that we can live here and make a difference. So, let us put self-interest aside, and restore HOPE where there is none. PEACE where there is chaos. JOY to those who are disheartened.

In Love, out of Love. Thank you for your time.

 

CHRIST REALIZATION YOGA – DAY 50

DAY 50
Divine Love, God’s Infinite, Unending, Undying, Everlasting Life and Love, is my spiritual umbilical cord, reaching from the One True Paradise Within, the Kingdom/Queendom of Heaven. This gold and silver cord carries my life force energy that supplies me with all the strength I need to give, extend, and return Love to my Source and all of manifest creation. My aura and astral energy body are empowered by the Infinite causal mind and body of thought and ideation, and from the astral mind and body comes the life essence that sustains my temporary body vehicle and its sense-mind interpreters of materialized form, trying to make sense out of an existence of multiplicity made by subjectivity and mayaic-delusion.

 
Though I have put my trust in what Jeshua (Jesus) calls “insane and trivial symbols” for protection and the maintenance of health and well being such as the prana of this world which is money, or in magic potions such as pharmacological pills, clothing that is supposed to protect me from the earth elements, having individual significance, the need to be accepted and adored, looking for pain relief in substances and sense pleasures, and in surrounding myself with certain people who I think will make me feel important, God Presence is my only sustenance.

 

The things on this list, which could go on endlessly, are what I use to replace Love Divine. I use these distractions to identify with the dense, physical body and with “special” love based on conditions I make. They try to glorify the ego-ahamkar false-self image. These substitutes will not sustain me, nor help me remember the Paradise Oneness, I in truth never left.

 

Avidya-illusions do not deserve my faith. Only the unchangeable, Infinite Love of Divinity should receive my full attention and desire. I will stop ruminating on illusions and false remedies that bring empty promises to pain, suffering, sadness, fear, and guilt. Only the individual mind can be sick. And it is my mind identified with Infinity that releases me from the idolatry of believing in gods of sickness, mental agony, and all forms of lack.

 

I am eternally safe in the Love of God Presence. No danger exists and I am not subject to any threats to my true peace and bliss. I need but choose my Source for strength and health and lasting calmness.

 

I will commit to two ten minute sittings today, where my prayers and dharana-concentration are centered on the affirmation for today. I will recite it, focus on it, let any thoughts that challenge my belief in today’s affirmation to enter my thought stream, and then allow the recognition of truth to dawn upon my mind that is linked to God Mind. I will not be robbed of peace and the awareness of mental rest. Restlessness is a sure sign of madness and investment in avidya-illusions that will not bring me wholeness, wellness, nor mindfulness.

 

(Inspired by but not limited to A Course in Miracles Teachings (1st Edition), Mind Science, New Thought, Metaphysics, Yogic Philosophy, Quantum Physics, Eastern Thought, and writings by Paramahansa Yogananda)